So I hate Tom Waits.  I realize this makes me some sort of hipster pariah, and among my friends, when I admit to this it illicits murderous stares and incredulous gasps.  But I cannot stand him.  I do not understand the allure of his horrible voice that sounds more like an alcoholic, chain-smoking auctioneer than a singer.  Sorry.  And this is not helped by the fact that Tom Waits basically served as the soundtrack to my freshman year of college.  Apparently, every establishment and home in 95-96 in Austin, TX was tuned to the “Tom Waits station”.  So when people say, “you haven’t given him a chance.”  I say, “by this point, I’ve surely heard at least a good representative sampling of his work.”  But something entirely freaky just happened.  KEXP (kexp.org, check it out if you haven’t, it has the best music on the web), played “Hoist that Rag” by Mr. Waits.  They haven’t played this song in a few months, but for a while there, they played it at least 3 times a day, I swear.  I hated it.  But because it was more trouble to take off my headphones than to leave them on, I usually wound up listening to it.  But I hated it.  Then, today, a disturbing thing happened.  The song came on, and I really needed to get up and get something but I DIDN’T WANT TO TAKE MY HEADPHONES OFF!  I found myself listening, nay, gasp, enjoying “Hoist that Rag”!    So Mr. Waits, I guess you have had the last gravelly laugh.  But I’m not going to start chain smoking and hanging out at Starseeds again, no sir!

Oh, according to John on KEXP, apparently today is Tom Waits’ birthday.  He’s 400 years old, which you probably didn’t know.  And apparently he’s a Highlander, you have to cut off his head to destroy him.  Little known fact.

I am so tired of people telling me what to do.  I think being an assistant is a job that one can only do for a few years of their life.  I have no clue how people do it for their entire “career”.  I will be very happy to have no one telling me what to do other than a screaming baby who will not so much tell me what to do as scream until I do her bidding.  That’s okay with me.  At least she’s not an obnoxious, rich white man.  I’m so tired of:

boss:  the accountant said that his rep would be calling us to set up a meeting for wednesday, but i see you scheduled one for thursday afternoon.
me:  yes, the rep sent email saying that he wanted to do the meeting at 1:30 on thursday
boss:  well, he has a phone number, can you call to confirm?

So I have to call and leave a message.  I like to do the bare minimum to get by as far as work, especially lately.  And I keep setting the bare minimum bar lower and lower daily.  Ah, only 3 months, 13 days and 8 hours left until maternity leave.  But who’s counting?

So I passed a giant Guinness billboard on the way back from running errands and realized that I really think it’s sad I don’t like Guiness.  Although I am pro-Guinness, I don’t like the taste.  And this got me to thinking about a nice pint of beer.  And how it’s foamy, and how good it tastes when you drink it.  I actually had a little fantasy about drinking beer.  And I realized how much I missed it!  It has been eons since I had a pint, and while there are some pretty good non-alcoholic beers out there, none of them are on tap.  And I just don’t believe it’s truly a beer unless it’s on tap.  By my calculations, the last real beer I had was probably the week of June 13th.  That was over 5 months ago!  Oh, beer, glorious beer, when I have you again, I will love you and squeeze you and call you delicious!  Just 4 more months until we’re together again!

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Comments

Kate Simpson

2005-11-21T15:53:26.000Z

I hear that’s pretty common.  I’ll have to bring you a six-pack when I come to meet the baby for the first time!  Kelli is still raving about the Wendy’s bacon cheeseburger I fetched her the night Gillian was born.  :)

So I was totally bummed about Thanksgiving because my parents were supposed to come like they do most years, but then said they would not be able to make it and basically said, “and don’t come here.”  They didn’t say it that blatantly, but my Dad now lives in Oklahoma City during the week for work, and my Mom is going to visit him before Thanksgiving, so they’d be driving back Wednesday.  And she said they couldn’t come here and that she’d basically not feel up to cooking on Thanksgiving (understandable), so they were just going to do something low-key the two of them and my brother.  She “assumed” we were doing something with Tim’s family (although his parents live in California, so the chances of that are very low).  But screw them because…

I am no longer bummed because we’re going to have Thanksgiving with Franklin and Beth and hopefully other folks!  Franklin and Tim are going to cook while we sit around and watch tv.  It’ll be great!  And you don’t have to hang out with your family and pretend you like them.  So I’m all excited again and no longer feel like an orphan.  Yay!

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Comments

Kate

2005-11-11T03:13:08.000Z

That sounds like a lot of fun!  I’m glad you get to hang with friends and not worry about family.  Think of us in Tulsa.  With pity.  Although it looks like all Ryan’s friends are coming to visit their families so we’ll all get together.  Dry turkey and no potatoes.  I’m a grown-up.  I can take it.

It’s 10:25am and I have already lost the battle with working.  I was planning to work, but then found out something that I thought was due today was actually really not needed until next Friday, but told I should do it anyway to have it out of the way.  But it’s Friday and we can’t have that.  Then I got lectured behind a closed door for something that was only marginally my fault, but I had to be lectured because we must have accountability.  And this was all by 10am.  So I thought, well I’ll just check out my friend’s blogs, and then well I’ll just read this forward, and then, I’ll just check out “Go Fug Yourself” and now, just a mere 1 hour and 28 minutes into my work day, I am looking at baby bedding.  This has totally devolved and must be stopped!  Maybe after lunch.  I mean I’d hate to just break into work, I might strain a brain muscle or something.

So my sister-in-law, Katie, put a list of banned books on her blog and bolded the ones she read.  She, and the fact that it’s Friday and I really don’t want to do the data entry I’m supposed to do, have inspired me to do the same.  Then I’ll see which of us has read more (and therefore the saucier tart!)

Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz
Daddy’s Roommate by Michael Willhoite
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain (read the cliff notes, twice)
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling (the first one and halfway through the second)
Forever by Judy Blume
Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
Alice (Series) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
The Giver by Lois Lowry
It’s Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris
Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine  (
A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
Sex by Madonna
Earth’s Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel
The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle
Go Ask Alice by Anonymous
Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers
In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard
The Witches by Roald Dahl
The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein
Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry
The Goats by Brock Cole
Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane
Blubber by Judy Blume
Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan
Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam
We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier
Final Exit by Derek Humphry
The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood  I saw the movie (she counted it on others, so I will too!)
Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Beloved by Toni Morrison
The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
The Pigman by Paul Zindel
Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard
Deenie by Judy Blume
Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden
The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar
Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz
A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice)
Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole
**Cujo by Stephen King saw the movie
James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
**The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell
Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
Ordinary People by Judith Guest
American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras
Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
Crazy Lady by Jane Conly
Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher
Fade by Robert Cormier
Guess What? by Mem Fox
The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende
The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
Native Son by Richard Wright
Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women’s Fantasies by Nancy Friday
Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen
Jack by A.M. Homes
Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya
Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle
**Carrie by Stephen King
Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
**On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer
Arizona Kid by Ron Koertge
Family Secrets by Norma Klein
Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole
**The Dead Zone by Stephen King
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain (Cliff notes twice)
**Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
Always Running by Luis Rodriguez
Private Parts by Howard Stern
Where’s Waldo? by Martin Hanford  (why is this banned??)
Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene
Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman
Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
Running Loose by Chris Crutcher
Sex Education by Jenny Davis
The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene
Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell
View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts
The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder
The Terrorist by Caroline Cooney
Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier

29.  Actually, I’m disappointed, I would have thought I would have read a lot more.  Of course, I read every Stephen King book that came out before about 1992, so if they were all on the list, my number would jump up.  Also, I read lots of R.L. Stine, just not the Goosebumps, I was too old for those.  I recognize many of these books from my Mother’s class materials (she’s a middle school English teacher).  I bet she’s ready 90% of these books.  But I’m a bigger tart than Katie, who’s read 19!  Probably because my parents didn’t put any restrictions on what I could read and hers, (at least from what Tim tells me), were very over-protective on what could come into their house.

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Comments

kelli

2005-11-07T17:40:51.000Z

And Katie is good, so she actually would have listened to her mother and not read them. For me that was like waving the red flag in front of the bull. Oh, it might make mom mad? Let’s do it! :) Congratulations on being a saucy tart though, that’s always fun. :)

Kayla

2006-11-13T22:58:19.000Z

The idea that books are banned is a ridiculous one. I mean, no, a first grader shouldn’t read American Psycho or an erotica, but really now is it necessary to ban everyone from books just because a large portion of society deems it as an unacceptable work of literature? We live in America where we have freedom of speech- Get used to it or get out is what I say. And really, “Catcher in the Rye” is a banned book because the kid hires a hooker and gets drunk. BUT- it teaches a lesson. The main character did all this, but he’s UNHAPPY. He gets kicked out of school, he’s put into some kind of medical facility to help deal with his issues! It could teach kids NOT to do the things he did, because they won’t want to end up like the main character… Haha, but anyways! Nice reading choices! I’m reading the second Sleeping Beauty book by A. N. Roquelaure for a English project on banned books.

So the Astros lost the world series.  In a sweep.  How sad.  I was so excited that they were in the world series, this was the team I used to go to the ballpark and watch frequently as a child with my Dad, and then as a teenager with my dad or best friend.  It was a fun bonding activity, my favorite part being when we yelled “Jose Cruuuuuuuuz” whenever Jose Cruz went to bat.  They were innocent times, my friend.  Except for the drunkenness of the other spectators and obscenities they yelled, I suppose.  I even got to go to skybox once, I think with my dad’s company during the headiness of the oil boom.  I admit I am not a huge baseball fan, and was shocked, absolutely shocked, when I heard the Astros had a chance at the world series.  I was even more excited when I found out they’d be in the series.  I knew they’d never win, but I thought they’d hold them to a couple of games.  I only got the chance to watch one game, unfortunately, but it was a very close game.  Tim and I watched the game Saturday night and he educated me on the finer points of baseball.  It was another bonding experience, this time with my husband’s sports knowledge, a skill I had no clue he had.  I know football and basketball, but baseball is a mysterious sport.  I learned a lot about it Saturday.  Due to the distraction of Sunday’s rain delay, we missed most of that game, and they were down 6-4 when we checked in so we decided not to watch.  Tuesday I forgot b/c of my yoga class followed by a burned dinner, and last night, well, I just plain forgot again.  But perhaps it’s for the best.  It’s easier to hear about the loss than see it.  At least we can all be comforted by the fact that they were close games.  If only Clements hadn’t been injured so early on, I think they could have taken it.  Better luck next time!

Or “Babymoon” as they call it these days.  I’m racking my brain trying to think of somewhere nice that we could go where I could still enjoy myself, even though we’re planning on going the first week of my 3rd trimester, the week after Christmas.  Which leaves out a place we can fly to because tickets are EXPENSIVE.  I’m thinking right now the Ozarks or possibly Carlsbad Cavern, but I’ve been to Carlsbad, even though it was nearly 20 years ago.  Tim has never seen a cavern though, so that makes me sad and I need to remedy that.  But it’s also a very kid friendly activity.  Not that driving through the ozarks isn’t.  Hmm…  I’m also considering Chicago, because SWA still has some cheap fares, but that would be expensive and might involve more walking than I’d like to do.  So if anyone has a good suggestion for winter-time destinations, please shoot them my way!  Extra points for destinations with 10 hours or less of driving each way.

Tim, I love you, but YOU DON’T LEAVE CURRY IN A BRAND NEW CAR!  Peeps, tell me if I’m over-reacting, but I have a brand new car, which I let him drive today because he needed it, and he brought his lunch in a tupperware container.  Well he left the curry in there until 1, then forgot it again when he left the car again.  Well I made him go get the curry out.  Am I over-reacting?  I don’t want the “new car smell” which only lasts for like a couple of weeks, to be replaced by “stinky curry” smell.  Ok, so I’m a bit possessive and babying about my car.  I know that in mere months it will smell like baby throw-up and cheerios, but for now, I would like to keep it clean and stink-free. 

It’s got lots of cool features.  I found out that I can change the stereo display to come on and read “HELLO JULIE”, a la HAL in 2001.  That’s cool.  Actually, the coolest thing about my new car is the stereo.  The upgraded stereo was already on the car and I would not have chosen it, but I’m glad I have it.  My Ipod hooks in and I can control it via the controls on the stereo.  It shows the artist, album title, song title, and all that.  It’s so cool!  Plus, you can change the color of the display, which is also super-cool.  It’s a very fun car to drive, even if the top does not come off.  It’s very high up and it feels like you are driving a bus (in a good way).  I have to go get cruise control installed in Killeen this saturday.  Let’s just hope they don’t screw up the wiring again like they did last weekend:(

I just realized I used cool like 100 times in that last sentence.  I am such a dork.

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Comments

Katie-Kat

2005-10-20T03:03:14.000Z

Ah, but you’re the dork I love!  It’s okay to say cool a million times in reference to your new car.  And although he’s my brother, I have to side with you on the whole curry thing.  It’s such a new car and it’s okay to be a little possessive at first. Even if it was unintentional.  I still sometimes glare at the tiny, tiny little chip in the paint by the window where Ryan whacks it with his watch.  The fact that he babies her otherwise and changes her oil and haunts the New Beetle forums is lost on me in those moments.  Besides, aren’t you even more smell-conscious than normal these days?

I can’t wait to ride in the new car!

love,

Kate

Anonymous

2005-10-28T17:55:24.000Z

Not only does curry stink, it stinks worse when you’re pregnant. 

So did you get the Scion?  What kind of new car is this?

~kelli

Anonymous

2005-10-28T17:59:36.000Z

Not only does curry stink, it stinks worse when you’re pregnant. 

So did you get the Scion?  What kind of new car is this?

~kelli

Tim

2005-10-28T18:14:28.000Z

Scion is Toyota’s new make. They make the xB:

http://www.scion.com/showroom/xb/gallery/index.html

I just want to buy a Scion xB.  That’s all. Automatic, preferably in Blue.  But you’d have thought I’d asked for a custom-made automobile from Switzerland or something.  First, dealerships take FOREVER to get back to me, then, when I say, fine I want to buy the car, they don’t get back to me then either!  Apparently there’s like 1 Scion XB in Blue in the entire state of Texas.  And no one wants me to have it.  Argh!

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Comments

ashmita

2005-10-18T16:38:24.000Z

Our friends, who live on your street, have the little coupe scion and it is a super cool car.  Verra nice.  I believe they had to wait to get it too.  They got the white with the black leather interior and it actually looks good.  Normally Ashley does not like white cars but it really works for the scion.

The people at consumer reports have blessed your union with the scion xb.  THEY want you to get the car even if the dealer doesn’t.  :-)  good mpg too!

Tim

2005-10-18T16:54:25.000Z

and it’s wonderful to drive, but it’s already back in the shop. I’ll let Julie give you the detailed info on that.