Break out the Geritol
Ugh, I am feeling so freaking old right now. I just had to go pick up lunch for my boss at the Hard Rock Cafe (yes he was eating lunch at 5:30pm, but that’s because he was too busy, hence me getting it for him), and I had to wait at the bar for the food. Well, the bartender was an over-active Hyper-hypo who decided he would chat me up. Great. So I gave him my credit card, which is a Texas Exes card and he was like, “cool card, what year did you graduate?” I don’t particularly like to answer this question, but what can you do? so I was like, “98” and he was like, “woah” and his eyes got all big like I’d just said I was a man or something and he was like, “how old are you?” and I was like, “you never ask a lady that question”, which is my stupid-ass, I’m being a polite southern belle answer to questions from strangers about my age or my hair color. And he was like, “I know, but you just look too young” and I was like,“I’m 27”. And he was like, “woah, you look 23 and I just thought you were Doogie Howser or something.” Please, 23? I didn’t look 23 when I was 23. I guess he’s buttering me up for a tip, which I don’t care about because it’s my boss’ money, right? So I was like, “well I did graduate in 3 and a half years”. And he asked all the standard questions, what my degree was and how I liked theatre, etc. And he was like, “oh, I’m 25 and I’m in grad school for Structural Engineering and blah blah blah”. And I guess I didn’t realize it, but I had my left hand splayed out on the bar in what I guess has become my “defense mechanism” and after 5 minutes of me being tortued by him chatting me up, he said, “oh, nice rock, so I guess you’re married he must keep you busy and blah blah”. Okay, once again, no one has ever referred to my ring as a “rock”. he was a total freak! And before I got out of there I had to carry on a conversation with him about Green Day, about the toilet and sexual habits of Spider Monkeys, and about how all television was crap. Oh, and he was from New York and everyone told him there was no theatre here in Austin. Out of pity I wrote down LGT and Salvage Vanguard and Rude Mechanicals names for him and told him to check out the Chronicle. But now I feel old and pitifully sad because this little stupid punk is in grad school and I’m picking up lunch for my boss. And for the record, I don’t think 27 is particularly old, but he sure made me feel like it was ancient. Dammit
Comments
Bonequark@hotmail.com
2004-12-30T17:47:56.000Z
What Hath Gawd Wrought?
Fuklin
2005-02-01T17:24:33.000Z
I’m a guy in my thirties who looks like he’s 17. You don’t know how much that sucks.
