Last night I just started having the worst anxiety come over me.  It’s quite unpleasant.  We found a temp who will start on Tuesday and that caused me anxiety because what if she sucks?  Plus, I HATE training people, I actually haven’t done it in about 6 years, and I know that is what I will be doing for the next 2 weeks.  And I have to move from my nice desk with the view of 6th street to the other side of the office so that there is room for both of us to sit.  But it’s more than that.  I’m suddenly nervous about getting no sleep after the baby comes.  We took a breastfeeding class Tuesday night and the whole “bf every 2-3 hours for 40 minutes at a time” thing really hit home.  How do you work sleeping into a schedule like that?  Tim thinks a big part of this sudden onset of anxiety is due to the fact that we have spent way to much time in baby classes lately.  We had a dr’s appt. Tuesday morning, then the breastfeeding class Tuesday night, and then the last childbirth class last night.  And, unfortunately, we have a Baby Care Basics class Sunday!  Ugh, too much information, and too much reiteration of:  your life is going to change like you can’t imagine, you will be exhausted and cranky and crazy.  I’m ready not to be pregnant anymore, but not sure that I’m quite ready for baby.  Perhaps I could just not be pregnant for the next 6 weeks and then she could be dropped off by the stork?  That would work very well.

Perhaps I just need to go spend some time in the nursery gazing at her adorable little clothes, then I’ll feel ready again.  That seems to help a lot.

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Comments

Ashmita

2006-02-24T19:06:46.000Z

Maybe your monkey will like to sleep a lot!  And you can sleep when she sleeps. Also as you two become breastfeeding veterens the baby will spend less time feeding at each session - so the 40 minutes, or hour, or more only goes on for a little bit, not the whole length of your breastfeeding career. One day while eating she will look up at you and smile and it will make it all worth it.  I promise.

Tarv

2006-02-24T22:12:30.000Z

Just think of it as an extended tech week.  You work your ass off and don’t get much sleep, but you have a big goal in mind, and at the end…well, rather than a play…well it really doesn’t just come to a halt with a flapping of curtains or a raising of lights, but…okay, so this is a shitty analogy.

Kate

2006-02-25T00:41:59.000Z

I think this is totally normal anxiety.  I don’t know how you make it through the beginning part where you’re learning everything and not sleeping much, but there’s a reason they’re so cute.  :)  And why God invented coffee.

And if all else fails, Auntie Kate can drive up even for a few hours to watch the monkey or take her out so you can sleep or shower or just watch TV or whatever you need.