‘cause I needed to get the house ready for New Years Eve. Swiffering in my house is something we do, even though it doesn’t really work. So I was watching TV today and an ad came on for Swiffer. Their slogan is

Stop cleaning. Start Swiffering.

Which brings up a point. Maybe Procter and Gamble are actually using truth in advertising. Swiffer mops don’t actually clean anything. Thus if you start Swiffering your will stop cleaning. I gotta hand it to the freemason satanists at Procter and Gamble, this is genius!

This realization hasn’t of course allowed me to figure out why we are still swiffering even though it doesn’t work.

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Comments

Tara

2004-01-02T17:02:36.000Z

I had a great time at the New Year’s Eve party. Thank you for having us. I have to say that I thought the house was pretty clean (you know, until we got through with it) so the swiffering can’t be all bad. It at least hides dirt.

Tim

2004-02-20T20:46:21.000Z

This is a test comment.

Barry Levitson, Regional Sales Manager, Zone 11-A

2004-03-18T03:41:33.000Z

Just did a quick google search on the swiffer to see if it was a product worthy of my time!  Thanks for the input!  I’m going to go buy one right now! 

Thanks Again!
Barry Levitson

Barry Levitson, Regional Sales Manager, Zone 11-A

2004-03-19T17:46:03.000Z

Okay buster, after reading your comments on the swiffer, I decided that I would stop cleaning and give swiffering a try.  Boy oh boy, did that turn out to be a mistake!  I don’t know what your idea of a quality product is, but this thing just plain stinks.  My wife Debbie and I are in firm agreement that the swiffer is for suckers!  I hope the next person who comes to this website for swiffer advice doesn’t make the same mistake I did.  Boy is my face red!

Thanks For Nothing,
Barry Levitson
Regional Sales Manager
Zone 11-A

Barry Levitson, Regional Sales Manager, Zone 11-A

2004-03-22T03:22:07.000Z

To Whom It May Concern,

My lawyer pointed out that your little Swiffer note was not, in fact, an official endorsement of the Swiffer, so my lawsuit is unnecessary and without any real grounds.  But hey, you can’t blame a guy for trying!  All the same, I don’t think you should put reference to satanists out where children can read it. 

Yours Truly,
Barry Levitson
Regional Sales Manager
Zone 11-A

Barry Levitson, Regional Sales Manager, Zone 11-A

2004-03-26T18:06:58.000Z

I had thought this whole swiffer nightmare was over, except we bought 50 of the damn things, and I can’t just throw them away!  I came home yesterday to find Debbie mopping with a regular mop.  Long story short, we get into this great big fight and I end up sleeping on the couch, which was her parents’ old couch, so it’s pretty old and not very comfortable.  I got maybe an hour of sleep last night, and now I’m here at the office, dead on my feet.  All thanks to you and your idiotic product endorsement.  Yes, I know what my lawyer said, but I still blame you.  You really should be ashamed of yourself Mr. Thomas.  Very very ashamed.

Barry Levitson
Regional Sales Manager
Zone 11-A

Barry Levitson, Regional Sales Manager, Zone 11-A, Super Lover Man

2004-03-26T22:48:00.000Z

Mr. Thomas, I owe you an apology.  I was very upset with you because I was projecting the blame for the problems between Debbie and I onto you.  I did not have to get mad at my wife for using a regular mop, especially since she gets the house just so darn clean!  Anyway, we just finished making up, if you know what I mean, and things are dandy now.  Hope you’re doing well.

Sincerely,
Barry Levitson
Super Lover Man