So everyone knows that I have a fascination with names, mostly from a sociocultural standpoint, and I consider myself an authority on the subject since my name collection has exposed me to some horrendous nomenclature. Today, while //gently// re-educating a coworkers on the dos & don’ts of baby naming (something I will detail in my next entry) I came across this little gem of a time waster called “Rename Yourself” name generator at WWW.BABYNAMES.COM, a simple way to see what your name could be based upon different personality traits. Well, the results, while humorous, illustrate just how unbelievably stupid our nation has become in the baby naming business. The following are the actual results for my given name, Erin Dianne. [Stylish Name]TRIAGE MIGNON - I’m speechless. First, there is nothing stylish about this name. SEcond, how much crack does the average fuck-monkey have to chomp down to even consider naming a tiny helpless baby after meat and first aid? These two works have no place on a menu together, let alone a birth certificate. “There’s a mignon bleeder in triage, 40 units of A1 steak sauce stat!” [Traditional Name]LEAH PAPRIKA - Well, Leah is a traditional name, and paprika is a traditional spice, but I can no more name myself Paprika than I could mix one teaspoon of Leah into my Chicken Napoli. [Wild Name] VARUNA PINK - Wild indeed. Varuna Pink or Vagina Pink, what’s the difference? They both belong on teh cover of “Coochie Capers Part 6: Super Cock versus the Cum Suck Sluts”. [Natural Name] Okapi Galena - Perfect, but do I really want to be one of a dozen Okapis in the classroom? I believe that an okapi is a large African folivore related to the giraffe and noted as the only mammal able to clean its ears with its tongue. Wow. “Hi, my name is Okapi Parsnip Beansprout, and I don’t believe in deodorant.” [Philosophical Name] CHAKA YOLAND - I once dreamt I was a butterfly, or am I a butterfly dreaming that I was Chaka Khan? Chanson, papillon, chanson chanson, I w

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Comments

Rone

2005-04-12T15:32:31.000Z

Here’s another interesting site on baby names, complete with trend statistics. http://www.thinkbabynames.com