The Republican Party Platform

Just got finished reading another press release from the Republican party headquarters that CNN passed off as an “editorial”. Let me see if I can sum up the Republican Party Platform:

  • Let’s cut taxes. If a Democrat is cutting taxes it won’t work because they’re spending too much. We are against tax cuts by Democrats because our middle name is Goldilocks, and Democratic proposed tax cuts are too big/too small/too hot/too cold, while ours are just right.
  • Let’s cut spending. If a Democrat proposes cutting spending they’re actually going to increase spending. This is a fact of nature. If someone points out times that Republicans increased spending we point out that all Democrats do is blame past Presidents.
  • When in doubt blame Bill Clinton.
  • Democrats are out of touch with the voters. If the majority of Americans approve of what Democrats are doing, it’s due to the bias of the mainstream media.
  • Democrats have no plan. Republicans have a plan. The plan the Democrats just told you is not really a plan. Especially that really detailed plan with all of the dates and numbers. The Republican plan is not just to oppose the Democrat plan. And it no longer includes any of the things that were in the plan previously, but had to be taken out because Obama has put them in his plan.
  • If Obama proposes any of the things we want to do, we immediately say he’s lying or call him a socialist. We must protect America from the creep of Obama’s socialist tax cuts.
  • When in doubt blame immigrants and/or gays and/or inattentive parents.
  • It is important to box ourselves into a corner as much as possible. Criticize the President for spending too much. Criticize cuts that do not affect Social Security, Medicare, or the Military as ineffectual. Criticize the president for not supporting the Military and wanting to cut Medicare and Social Security.
  • Criticize as ineffectual any of our proposals the President suggests in an attempt to win our support.

I know it’s a press release because it cites Karl Rove as though he were someone who could provide one with unbiased facts.